A while ago, I reflected on the mid year mark of my first year being a fully fledged classroom teacher and was more than a little put out that AI came up with that mental image instead of me.

The funny thing was, I realized that I was using it this week in conversations with other staff members.

It was that good.

I have been adjusting the blueprints of my classroom as the year has progressed. More than that, I finished my initial teaching program and have begun looking at Masters degrees in my field. And I’m working through a reciprocal license with my state and trying to figure out what the extra steps will be.

All of these the lovely joys of being someone who decided teaching was their preferred career path much later in life than the original college years are slowly chipping away at my sanity.

What is hard is not taking the extra stress out in the classroom. I am well aware that three quarters of the way through, I am feeling entirely wiped out. As I said to a friend recently, I think I’m ready for a break from these students and they’re probably ready for a break from me and school (thank the Lord spring break exists, by the way).

I’m finding that I’m having to dig deeper than I thought I would and coach myself to just focus on one day at a time. I’m not new to it, I’ve lived through harder things than teaching, caregiving for elderly family members being near the top of that list. And every time I have to intentionally focus on decompression time (for me that’s a whole lot of prayer, quiet time, and good documentaries), taking tasks one step at a time, and oftentimes includes breathing techniques.

I don’t have a lot of quick and easy solutions to any of this, except to keep showing up each day willing to adjust to fit the needs of the students while simultaneously holding space for myself when I need it.